Second Chances: Heaven's Heart

It's been a year since I've been there - my favorite spot to savor some fresh strawberries while reading a good book. It's not an exotic location; in fact, part of its beauty lies in its simplicity. It's the lawn at my in-laws' New England home. It seems like their garden gets better every year despite the petal-chewing deer that roam there faithfully every Spring. Through much hard work and perseverance, Mom and Dad have created something beautiful - a serene refuge to which I always long to return.

During a recent visit, I found out that Mom and Dad each tend separate gardens on their spacious lawn. After a visit to the town nursery, Mom plants the new-comers just North of the porch on the well-established garden that delights butterflies, bumblebees, and thirsty robins throughout the day. Up ahead stands a statue of St Francis where blue jays and orioles sometimes perch, surrounded by a colorful array of wild flowers. Mom's patience and discipline have paid off; the landscape is gorgeous.

Although I love all these gardens, I was thrilled to learn about the more hidden one that evolved over several years. Dad calls it the Garden of Second Chances. This hopeful patch welcomes those plants and flowers not worthy of front row status - the ones that, despite having the same soil and fertilizers, just don't make it elsewhere. Whatever Mom doesn't need in her gardens ends up here, where it gets a second chance.

Dad's Garden of Second Chances

Although early on this garden wasn't much to look at, it is now vibrant and beautiful, and the yard wouldn't be the same without it. A second chance made all the difference.

How often do we discard things - or, worse - give up on people without giving them the second chance that could save them or make a difference in their lives?

Do we withhold from the broken the gift of a fresh start? And when we fall short of our expectations, do we crawl around full of life-smothering shame and regret, or do we offer ourselves grace?

Last week I attended a convention where I discovered an Irish band that rocks. They call themselves Rend Collective Experiment, and their song Second Chance captured my soul. It celebrates the "countless second chances we've been given at the Cross." The chorus brings the truth of God's mercy home: "A second chance is Heaven's heart."

Indeed, we've all been given a second chance - many times! "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:22,23)

Dad's Garden of Second Chances reminds me of God's grace - the undeserved favor and goodness He lavishes on imperfect people. Forgiveness is very often undeserved; that's what makes it a gift.

Next time I visit Mom and Dad, as always, I plan to photograph butterflies, study hummingbirds, and get a grand tour of Mom's lovely flower beds. And then I'll stroll up the hill to an unassuming patch of green that houses something we all need. Hope. Mercy. Grace.

And I will say a prayer of thanksgiving to a good Lord - the giver of all good things. The One whose grace is limitless. The One whose love never ends.

His!
Dr Mari 

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!" (1 John 3:1)

For more pictures and stories of my in-laws' gardens, read Living in the Moment and A Lesson in Patience from Hens and Chickens.

Seek and You Will Find: The Joy of Relationship

"The moment one gives close attention to anything, 

even a blade of grass, 

it becomes a mysterious, awesome, 

indescribably magnificent world in itself." 

(Henry Miller, Author)

Yesterday was a full day. It wasn't so much filled with activity as with angst. You know - that inner restlessness that often comes during times of change and big choices. You're waiting to get from point A to point B, but a world of possibilities lies in between. Thus, angst!

I'm at the crossroads between who I've been and who I'm called to become. There is much I want to hold on to, and even more I'm eager to embrace. I am, once again, in a chrysalis of change, waiting for what's next.

Thankfully, I'm certain that what awaits me is marvelous. God told me Himself. "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" (Jeremiah 29:11) This well-known verse is a sweet reminder of God's faithfulness to those who follow Him. Yet, the verse that follows it is even more hopeful.

"'Then you will call upon Me and come 

and pray to Me, 

and I will listen to you.  

You will seek Me and find Me 

when you seek Me with all your heart.  

I will be found by you,' 

declares the Lord..." 

 (Jeremiah 29:12-14a)

  
During times of critical decisions, I crave silence. I long for inner stillness, for I know that's when I hear God's whispers. I don't want to make a move outside of God's perfect will, so I must seek to know God's heart in every situation.

As I crave this inner stillness, God answers. I must simply wait - while in pursuit - and it surely comes! I experienced it yesterday.

We got home around dusk after letting the kids run around at the neighborhood playground. After a light and decision-free afternoon, the countless questions that sprinted to my mind as we reached our house were (thankfully!) halted by the deepest shade of red I've ever seen. A vividly crimson cardinal greeted us home, hopping happily all over our front yard. I couldn't help but stop everything and follow him to our backyard, where he soon found his mate and flew away.

As I pursued him stealthily, I noticed new flowers blooming all around me that I'd missed all week. I spotted critters and followed the flight of two monarch butterflies, and I drank in the lush green all around. 

As I took in my surroundings, I became still. And in that stillness, I felt completely at peace. My heart was glad and my mind was clear. Ahhh!

Although I didn't sense clear guidance as to each of my questions, the experience reminded me that I must participate in finding the stillness I need. Sometimes, finding such stillness must be the most intentional thing that we do. It's a terrific paradox!

Part of the beauty and mystery of Nature is in how ubiquitous it is. It's everywhere! Yet, it's also exquisitely hidden.

And so it is with God. Omnipresent, and beautifully hidden, waiting to be found.

Seek and you will find but, to find, you must seek with your whole heart. Your whole self, fully engaged. You must want it. I must want it.

There's the challenge, and why we must be still.  

"Be still and know that I am God..." (Psalm 46:10a)

Be still!
Dr Mari

*Photo by Manuel Díaz Photography. All Rights Reserved. Used with permission.

For more stories to help you be still, read A Thirsty Deer Leads Worship! and Living in the Moment. 

More Ways to Unload Your Life (Part III)

Many of you enjoyed Overloaded Lives are Powerless Lives and Unloaded Lives are Powerful and asked for more. As we approach what to many of us is the busiest time of the year, why not resolve to have it be different this time around? We can manage our time proactively starting now. We can enjoy a true Advent - the time of preparation leading up to Christmas - by setting aside time to ready our hearts and nurture our spirits along the way. As you consider these steps we can all take to unload our lives, I invite you to put them into practice now to avoid another frazzled, hectic month that will leave you exhausted - just in time for Christmas!

So here are some more choices we can make to help us recover the precious gift of time. They are from Dr Richard Swenson's book, Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives.

• Sabotage Your Fuse Box. The author shares, "Our family enjoys Wisconsin winters where a two-foot snowfall is a thrill, not a torment. When the world is snowed in, cars can't move, businesses can't open, and schools can't convene. A spirit of holiday reigns. Part of the reason for this is the unexpected gift of time margin." Make today a "snow day" and decide to enjoy the gift of time! Can you even remember what it is you love to do when you suddenly have a free day? Do it now! And build it into your schedule more often.
• Get Less Done But Do the Right Things. Some people lead such hectic lives that even hearing about their day is stressful. How they can continue to live with such daily chaos is beyond me! Even "good things" can become too much if they fill up our days to such an extent that we are no longer kind to ourselves or to others. "'For many people,' says pastor and author Rick Warren, 'the barrier to spiritual growth is not lack of commitment, but overcommitment to the wrong things.'" Remember, when you say yes to something, you have just said no to something else. Are your answers consistently in agreement with your values and goals? 
• Enjoy Anticipation, Relish the Memories. Is your schedule ever so busy that there's little time to anticipate a wonderful event, enjoy it when it arrives or reminisce about it afterwards because you've already moved on to the next thing? Consider saying no to a few invitations next month so you can fully enjoy the ones to which you say yes! Do you feel obligated to go? Perhaps this question can help you as you discern when to say no.
• Don't Rush Wisdom. Take your time when making decisions. "If life's pace pushes you, push back. Take as much time and prayer as you need for (clarity) to develop. And wait for your decision to be affirmed by peace."
• For Type A's Only. Dr Swenson shares this advice from Dr Meyer Friedman, who first described the type A personality. "Practice smiling. Purposely speak more slowly, stop in the middle of some sentences, hesitate for three seconds, then continue. Purposely say 'I'm wrong' at least twice today, even if you're not sure you're wrong. Listen to at least two persons today without interrupting even once... Seek out the longest line at the bank." Although the old me could be the poster child for the type A personality (and still, at times!), I have learned to receive such previously frustrating annoyances as long lines in the supermarket as gifts - opportunities to breathe, to pray, to rest. "In repentance and rest is your salvation," says the Lord in Isaiah 30:15, "in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it." These are sobering words if we haven't learned to desire inner quiet more than we want whatever it is we want right now. To those of us pursuing the abundant life each day, the need to wait for some things becomes a gift. Outer chaos in our lives often reflects or leads to inner chaos. Having to wait builds patient endurance and is often a path to greater wisdom and love. 
• Create Buffer Zones. Wouldn't it be nice if we all learned to create buffer zones around our daily lives? Whether at work or running errands, we can set aside even five minutes an hour to rest our minds and nurture our spirits. A song on iTunes. An inspiring poem. Enjoying photos of our children and spouse. Closing our eyes in prayer or reading a psalm or two. These short but powerful infusions of hope and joy in the middle of a busy day can make all the difference.
• Plan for Free Time. "Christ's teaching, His healing, His serving, and His loving were usually spontaneous. The person standing in front of Him was the opportunity He accepted. If He chose spontaneous living, isn't that a signal to us? Overloaded schedules are not the way to walk In His Steps." An inflexible, over-scheduled day lacks buffer zones and leaves little room for the Holy Spirit to move. If your day is packed, move some items to another day or delete them altogether.
• Be Available. "God... exalts faithfulness over productivity." Do we? Have we scheduled ourselves so full that we are unavailable to God? Can our agenda be interrupted to serve God and His people in need?

As we approach Advent and the celebration of Christ's birth, let us resolve to prepare our hearts, making room for God to use us like never before, giving Him our time and choosing to glorify Him in all we do.

Be free!
Dr Mari

* Photo by James Randkley, Stone/Getty Images. 

Visit Overloaded Lives are Powerless Lives for Part I and Unloaded Lives are Powerful for Part II of this series based on Dr Richard Swenson's book, Margin.

 

Adversity's Gift: Perseverance

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4)

I love how James ties trials, faith, perseverance, maturity, and joy. Our trials, he explains, test our faith and develop our ability to persevere. The dictionary defines perseverance as steadfastness, determination and, my favorite, staying power. Staying power – the diligence, commitment and muscle to stay, to endure, not to flee, to hang in there. Perseverance gives us the power to stay in our circumstance, standing firm in that uncomfortable, painful or devastating place until we can rise above it. I don't know about you, but I want more staying power. I want to be fully equipped in hardship so that I may continue to stand and not fall.

James reminds us that this process of increasing our staying power matures us, that we may be “complete, not lacking anything.” He's not referring to material provision here; he's talking about our emotions, our relationships, our spiritual life – our inner life. Perseverance strengthens our inner being, where our emotions, thoughts, and will reside. We become wiser and more mature as we persevere. Like a tree that sways in the storm but remains standing, our roots dig deeper and grow stronger when we resolve to stand firm through trials. As we grasp the transformation taking place within us through difficulties, we learn to rejoice in the midst of them. We discern a noble and good purpose in our suffering, and this awareness transforms it – and us.

"Finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it, according to your means." (2 Corinthians 8:11) Perseverance helps us "finish the work," and it is our trials that help us develop this virtue. May we all remember this when we face adversity and learn to rejoice in the midst of it, thanking God for making us whole and helping us stand.

Rejoice!
Dr Mari

For more encouragement, listen to the song Blessings and read Contentment: Good for the Soul and Evidence of Trust.

A Lesson in Patience from Hens and Chickens

I love this picture of "hens-and-chickens" growing in my mother-in-law's New England garden. That is what she affectionately calls this succulent that to her "looks like a mother hen" that "creates little versions of herself." I discovered that this is indeed the name of this spreading plant indigenous to Europe, where it is known for its fire-resistant properties. Hens and chicks "produce clusters of rosettes. The parent rosettes are the 'hens,' and the smaller rosettes that spring from them are the 'chicks' or 'chickens.'" (Hens and Chicks, by David Beaulieu, About.com Guide)

Hens-and-chickens from Mom's garden

As I look closely at the different sprouts, they remind me that, as imperfect people, we are all at different stages of our growth journey. Like gardens, some of us are blooming in certain areas and still infants in others, but we all coexist, hopefully helping one another grow rather than standing in each others' way.

It is encouraging to remember that we are not merely dependent upon each other as we mature. The apostle Paul reminds us that it is God who makes us grow. "So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow" (1 Corinthians 3:7)

Hard as we try, we cannot make someone else mature any quicker than they're ready for; that is God's work. Although at times we are called to confront one another in love, many times we simply need to wait patiently. I'm not sure which is tougher! I do know that a key to healthy relationships that grow and endure is the ability to discern wisely when to confront, when to push gently, and when to wait.

In Ephesians 4:2, Paul urges us to "be patient, bearing with one another in love." And when love's many attributes are listed by the same apostle, the very first one is this: "Love is patient." (1 Corinthians 13:4) Our patience with one another in our different stages of growth reveals our love, and it is also a mark of our own maturity.

Our journey through life is full of challenges and struggles, but it is also full of wonder, joy and miracles. As we all grow together, "let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds... encouraging one another..." (Hebrews 10:24,25) As we do that, it helps to recognize that God is more interested in our growth than we are! So let us trust Him with our journey and that of others, doing our part each day, thankful that God will help us all mature into the blessed people He created us to be - in His time.

Let us be patient with one another and, as we wait, may we choose to love!
Dr Mari

Be Still and Know (Part I - Transformation Series)

This week about thirty larvae arrived in the mail. Weird as it sounds, I actually ordered some insects to be delivered to our home. It's the best science experiment, and an inspiring visual life lesson. Over the next three weeks, my kids will care for these vulnerable creatures until they grow and become butterflies and ladybugs. Though they arrived as earth-bound crawlers, they will soon have wings and take flight, leaving the safety of their tiny home for a world unexplored.

Imagine that! From crawling the ground to flying ... what a transformation!

...to winged butterfly!

From earth-bound crawler...

I love to recognize that it is even possible for a creature to change in such fundamental ways. For now, these critters are mostly about one thing: eating! They eat, they rest, and in almost perfect stillness, they grow. These first three days they've been so still that we've often wondered if they're alive, but they are. They apparently need to be still, and they seem adept at listening to their body's needs. As they grow, they rest. They have no problem being still.

Humans are a different story. Inner stillness can be such a challenge for us in the 21st century. We are so complex, so sophisticated. We are technologically advanced, and we wants things now! We are very good at the moving part and the eating part, but we're awful at any kind of waiting and inner stillness. And it's a shame, because God often speaks to us precisely as we become still. 

The prophet Elijah experienced this. When he tried to escape the world and hid in a cave, he did not hear God's voice in the wind, in an earthquake or in the power of fire. God's voice came to Elijah as a "gentle whisper." And as soon as he recognized God's voice, things began to turn around for the prophet, who gained a fresh understanding of his purpose and God's sovereignty. (1 Kings 19)

Psalm 46:10 says, Be still and know that I AM God. Elijah's experience teaches us that we must be attentive to God's voice and careful to seek silence and stillness, that we may hear God's gentle whispers. 

So here's the question for us. Do we have the humility to learn — even from crawling critters — to be still, to rest, to wait? If we do, perhaps we, too, will go through our own transformation. Perhaps we, too, will be given our own set of wings.

Rest in Him,

Dr Mari 

* Go to Baggage-free Flying for Part II of this series, Hope Flies Despite Broken Wings! for Part III, and A Favorite Christmas Gift ... Insects! for Part IV. *