A Lesson in Patience from Hens and Chickens

I love this picture of "hens-and-chickens" growing in my mother-in-law's New England garden. That is what she affectionately calls this succulent that to her "looks like a mother hen" that "creates little versions of herself." I discovered that this is indeed the name of this spreading plant indigenous to Europe, where it is known for its fire-resistant properties. Hens and chicks "produce clusters of rosettes. The parent rosettes are the 'hens,' and the smaller rosettes that spring from them are the 'chicks' or 'chickens.'" (Hens and Chicks, by David Beaulieu, About.com Guide)

Hens-and-chickens from Mom's garden

As I look closely at the different sprouts, they remind me that, as imperfect people, we are all at different stages of our growth journey. Like gardens, some of us are blooming in certain areas and still infants in others, but we all coexist, hopefully helping one another grow rather than standing in each others' way.

It is encouraging to remember that we are not merely dependent upon each other as we mature. The apostle Paul reminds us that it is God who makes us grow. "So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow" (1 Corinthians 3:7)

Hard as we try, we cannot make someone else mature any quicker than they're ready for; that is God's work. Although at times we are called to confront one another in love, many times we simply need to wait patiently. I'm not sure which is tougher! I do know that a key to healthy relationships that grow and endure is the ability to discern wisely when to confront, when to push gently, and when to wait.

In Ephesians 4:2, Paul urges us to "be patient, bearing with one another in love." And when love's many attributes are listed by the same apostle, the very first one is this: "Love is patient." (1 Corinthians 13:4) Our patience with one another in our different stages of growth reveals our love, and it is also a mark of our own maturity.

Our journey through life is full of challenges and struggles, but it is also full of wonder, joy and miracles. As we all grow together, "let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds... encouraging one another..." (Hebrews 10:24,25) As we do that, it helps to recognize that God is more interested in our growth than we are! So let us trust Him with our journey and that of others, doing our part each day, thankful that God will help us all mature into the blessed people He created us to be - in His time.

Let us be patient with one another and, as we wait, may we choose to love!
Dr Mari

Back to School Humor for Calvin & Hobbes fans

May God bless this upcoming school year!

Living in the Moment

In this fast-paced modern world, it is so important to make time for silence. While on vacation to the Northeast this week I've been blessed with many opportunities for quiet contemplation. As so often happens when we visit my in-laws, I discovered a gem in one of the bookshelves, The Music of Silence: Entering the Sacred Space of Monastic Experience, by David Steindl-Rast, O.S.B. Here is an excerpt from this small but insightful book, the companion to the CD entitled Chant:

"We are so geared to what is useful that we forget the meaningful, what gives our life joy and depth and value." (p.14)

"Saturated with information but often bereft of meaning, we feel caught in a never-ending swirl of duties and demands, things to finish, things to put right. Yet as we dart anxiously from one activity to the next, we sense that there is more to life than our worldly agendas." (p.5)

Can you, like me, relate to these simple but profound statements? If so, make time today for a bit of silence and take advantage of the gift of the present moment. As I do that now, I am filled with thankfulness for life, for health, for children, for hand-made ice cream and grape tomatoes, for a bird's nest discovered on a walk, for family, and for the ability to know and experience God and His goodness.

A few days ago, as I sat on the lawn enjoying my mother-in-law's breathtaking garden and reading this little book, my nine year-old hopped onto my blanket. Sensing a conversation coming, I marked the page and set the book down. He grinned big as he dropped his LEGO mini-figures and, out of nowhere, asked what my favorite "creature" is. Though he initially agreed with my choice of a butterfly, he explained why he prefers the puffin. With great excitement, he shared its various attributes, the best being the puffin's ability to "torpedo backwards." As he mimicked its swift movements, I smiled, for I was perfectly in the moment, enjoying my son's joy and making it my own.

Life is made up of moments like this one, but so often we miss them. We're busy, we have stuff to do, items to check off our lists, deadlines to meet. And speaking of deadlines, did you ever notice the word dead in deadlines? (p.5) Perhaps if we spent more time reaching out for our lifelines and becoming lifelines for each other rather than frantically living to meet deadlines... perhaps we'd experience more joy. It's just a thought.

Yes! Life is made up of moments, and each brings the opportunity for us to live it fully! Let us live every one. For each is a wonderful gift.

Thankful for life!
Dr Mari

Dr Mari's Health & Hope Corner: A Cup of Joy - August 2011

Follow this link to A Cup of Joy, this month's Health & Hope Corner by Dr Mari. It is featured at Hope Matters and was written in honor of Titi Myriam, my beautiful aunt whose contagious joy continues to bless my life. Te amo, Titi!

* This column is a "small thing" I do "with great love," as Mother Teresa taught. It is published monthly by Hope Matters, a company that seeks to spread hope to those walking through the stormy seas of cancer, Alzheimer's disease, or through the uncertainty and stress of military deployment. I have the privilege of serving as their translator and copy editor. Through books, workshops, special events, and advocacy efforts, Hope Matters provides tools, resources, and hope for tough journeys. *

Song "I Refuse" by Josh Wilson

Here's Josh Wilson's song, I Refuse. Be sure to watch the video all the way to the end!

Here's an excerpt from the chorus:

"... I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh, I refuse 

... to sit around and wait for someone else

to do what God has called me to do myself
Oh, I could choose

not to move,

but I refuse."

May God bless you as you love and serve others.

Dr Mari

Your Plans, His Plans

This is a guest post by author and inspirational speaker, Maryann Makekau. Her career in psychology spans two decades, with an emphasis on research, writing, advocacy and crisis intervention. She travels the country sharing hope and founded Hope Matters Productions to make a difference in hurting lives worldwide.

When I reached out for a foreword writer of When Your Teacher Has Cancer (my first Little Pink Book) I gained so much more. It’s quite magnificent when your plan turns into God’s plan! That is exactly what’s happened over the last two years.

My intention in writing that first book was simply to bless a friend in need. The story began on pink paper accompanied by basic stick-figures, bound for a 2^nd grade classroom. That reading revealed a need well beyond those walls. Every child’s hand went up when I asked, “How many of you have known someone with cancer?” Within hours of that reading, I began receiving (adult) requests to publish the title. That led me to contact Dr. Mari.

A meaningful book deserves a great layout and relevant endorsements. I’d known Dr. Mari for years, as a professional, prayer-warrior, and friend. What I didn’t know was her strong connection with this Little Pink Book. Just as those 2^nd graders were linked to a loved one’s cancer experience, so was Dr. Mari. At 20 years of age, she’d lost her mother to breast cancer. Although the loss surpassed her childhood, it didn’t surpass her need for Mom. No matter what age, child-like emotions surface when a parent falls ill. The child tucked inside cries out for comfort, understanding and healing.

                                        © 2010

Oftentimes after delivering a talk, I’m approached by women, and men, with tears streaming down their face. Their tears are grateful, healing tears. In sharing the hope inside my Little Pink Books, it’s vital to talk about a child’s heart-needs. Children need a voice when they’re thrust into a loved one’s journey through cancer. Whether the outcome is borrowed time through remission or time stolen away by cancer’s grip—loss is part of the equation. Yet, so is Hope.

God’s plan: use these Little Pink Books to share hope; use our expertise as an instrument of healing; and use our passion to make a difference in hurting lives. Dr. Mari joined hands with me as a Pink-enthusiast—celebrating her mother’s life by writing a relevant foreword. Her enthusiasm quickly revealed a bigger plan in this Little Pink Book journey. As translator, copy-editor and blogger, her Pink enthusiasm became an integral part of Hope Matters Productions.

A Little Pink Book grew into a company, with a vision to inspire others with the “infectious quality of Hope.” Thank you, Dr. Mari, for embracing a bigger plan. You’ve demonstrated that when you don’t allow loss to diminish your hope, it can be used in unimaginable ways. Shine on... share your radiant glow of hope. It’ll light the path for God’s amazing plans!

Maryann Makekau, © 2011

www.becausehopematters.com

Dr Mari's Health & Hope Corner

Hope: Beyond a Dream

"Hope is the dream of a man awake," says a French proverb. Dreams come during our rest time; hope is for our life while awake! While caring for thousands of people over the years, I have learned that health and hope usually go together. In fact, hopelessness often precedes and certainly characterizes depression. It is nearly impossible to have joy without hope. Those who lose hope often spiral down, so instilling hope is one of the most important ways we all can help each other.

Hope is a dream acted upon.

I recently attended a conference for physicians where one of the panelists was neurosurgeon Ben Carson, the one who separated the first set of Siamese twins in this country. He grew up with an older brother and they were raised by a single mother after their father left them. Ben was such a poor student that his nickname in elementary school was "dummy." One would have thought he had little hope of success with such a beginning.

Yet, Ben had a mother who believed in his potential, hoped for the best in his life and acted accordingly. Although she couldn't read, she had the brothers turn off the TV and made them read books and write reports on them each week. Before long, the brothers grew to love books, and Ben became the best student in his class. It was a remarkable transformation that began with one person believing in him and motivating him. 

Ben's mother also instilled in her children a strong faith in God. He shared his faith boldly with our gathering of doctors and recounted multiple instances where life got tough and he prayed, received guidance from God, and then resolved to do what God led him to do. It was precisely through such a sequence that he came to know, after months of waiting, exactly how to separate the twins. He then gathered a team of more than twenty people who participated in the surgeries and, together, they succeeded - and lives were changed.

Faith fueled his perseverance, which kept his hope for those lives alive. He prayed, he waited patiently, and then he knew what to do.

One day, Dr Carson realized that all his successes came from God working through him, so he made a life-changing declaration. He said, "Lord, from now on, you are the neurosurgeon. I am simply your assistant." He is now a world-renowned surgeon and operates on hundreds of children each year at Johns Hopkins University.

We all have dreams of what we want to do or become, and dreams are wonderful. But beyond dreaming, we must act in our daily lives in ways that bring us closer to those hopes and dreams. Whether it's eating a healthier diet, incorporating more activity into a sedentary lifestyle or deciding to forgive someone who hurt us, our choices affect how we feel and our health. What we do matters, and our actions impact not only our lives but those around us. And prayer ignites the hope that keeps us going when our world makes no sense or when, like Ben Carson, we face seemingly impossible challenges.

So, today, look around and notice who believes in you and gives you hope. Stay close to them. And look for those who need someone who believes in them. Share your best with them. Hope goes beyond a dream when a person wakes up to the fact that their life has purpose and their choices matter. When we start living with purpose, our outlook changes. Our whole world changes. And that is a hopeful thing! 

Share Hope!

Dr Mari